The following content is a work of in character fiction created to entertain. The views or opinions within are not that of President Mac, the EWC Staff, or anyone else for that matter. The quite frankly bad humor within should not be taken seriously at all, and besides the writer does not take it seriously so why should anyone else. Thank you and enjoy.
Michael Saint: Hello everyone and welcome to Bottomline Weekly, eh Bottomline Monthly…………..um ladies and gentlemen welcome to Bottomline whenever I fucking feel like doing it! I mean honestly who knows this could be the only time I ever do this show again. I am the one the only, the franchise of the EWC, the sexiest man alive, and YOUR MOMS FAVORITE WRESTLER Michael Saint!
We have a really big show for you today! I got some pay per view predictions, hot or not, and hell an interview with the man himself Ace King! So lets get started.
Wrestlefest XIX Predictions
Alright lets start off with my predictions for Wrestlefest 19! For one of the biggest shows of the EWC calendar I have went with the most scientific way of choosing the winners. Outlined below
1. If a match has more than one person I know in it I will analyze and choose the winner at a random.
2. If a match has one person I know in it I will without a doubt choose that person.
3. IF a match is one on one and I do not know either person I will flip a coin in the most scientific way possible.
4. If a match is multi person and I do not know I will put a number by each person before drawing a number from a hat once again doing so in the most scientific way possible.
HOUSE OF FUN
Damage Inc vs KU & Antoni Malietoa
WINNERS: Damage INC! – Sorry to the other team I am pretty sure I know who Damage INC are so I go to them by default in the most scientific way possible.
MAC INVITATIONAL CAGE MATCH
MITCH “BROKEN” HEART VS REBEL RHODES VS ROISIN CADIEUX VS RUBY CLIFTON VS SHAKER JONES VS TANJA DEVEREAUX VS XANDER WOLFE
WINNER: REBEL RHODES – Once again in the most scientific way possible I went with the one name I recognized
DARIUS VS ADRIANA ARQUILIA
WINNER: DARIUS – I will continue to nod my head when seeing names I do not know, because I have not been around much.
TOMMY BURTON VS DARNA DARE
WINNER: DARNA DARE – The coin says Darn and who am I to argue with science?
US TITLE MATCH
SAMANTHA HAMILTON VS MELODY MELONE
WINNER: MELODY MELONE – As a former EWC Champ I have to go with Melody here!
I QUIT MATCH
GIDEON GAGE VS GRIZZLEY DUGGEN
WINNER: GRIZZLEY DUGGEN – Pretty sure if I said he would lose Grizzley would hulk smash my beautiful face.
MAC INVITATIONAL II LADDER MATCH
AUTUMN RAVEN VS FAITH RIVERS VS JASON HUNTER VS GARIELLE VISCONTY VS MERCENARY VS PHEONIX WINTERBORN
FIRST OFF! – Before I go fr the winner I am going to have to ask why a second Mac Invitational? Well, guess what this match is now Michael Saint Presents The Mac Invitational II
WINNER: GABRIELLE VISCONTY – In the most scientific way possible I am choosing the person who I see liking most of the dumb shit I say I twitter.
AEON KHRONOS VS EMMA LOUISE IGGY SWANGO
WINNER: EMMA LOUISE – SCIENCE!
SENSHI OF THE BLADE VS SABOTAGE VS HALO SYNDICATE
WINNERS: SENSHI OF THE BLADE – Best name of the three
TAG TEAM TITLE MATCH X RULES
THE SOUTHERN EXPRESS VS RUSHIN’ ROULETTE
WINNERS: RUSHIN’ ROULETTE – If for no other reason to jack around with Tommy Love
MARCU$ $T JOHN VS BATHSHEBA
WINNER: MARCU$ $T JOHN : ALL HAIL THE MIGHTY COIN!
JOSH GAVIN VS DALLIAH ASHE VS REMARKABLE MARK KEATON VS HAZEL OVERTON
WINNER: MARK KEATON – The guy has puns and that is all that matters?
CANDY VS PENCE WEATHERLIGHT
WINNER: PENCE! – Pretty sure he was from way back in the day( a Tuesday I think ) so I have to go with him.
“LA BELLCISTA” ISABELLA VS JAMES KEATON
WINNER: ISABELLA – I like saying you nickname
NORTH AMERICAN TITLE MATCH
JORDAN SHARPE VS DAVID MILLER
WINNER: Jordan Sharpe – He is Jordan “freaking” Sharpe right?
SADIE SHARPE VS LORENZO VS SCORPIO
WINNER: SCORPIO – No clue why, but here you go.
INTERNATIONAL TITLE BEDS OF WEAPONS MATCH
STITCHES VS XAVIER REID
WINNER: XAVIER REID – Despite his association with Love I have to give the devil his due.
INDY TITLE KENDO STICK MATCH
DIO VS NARUMI TSUTSUMI
WINNER: RONNIE JAMES DIO – VIA COIN FLIP and like a Rainbow in the Dark
5 HARD WAY X DIVISION CHAMPIONSHIP
KING FLIP VS NEVAEH VS JAIMIE LOVE VS AIYA VS EL PABLO
WINNER: EL PABLO – You are the champ for a reason and they got to beat you in a close match.
EWC UNDISPUTED TITLE 4 WAY LADDER MATCH
KILLJOY ITO VS MELODY MALONE VS MOXIE VS ACE KING
WINNER: ACE KING – On a roll as champ and I would be a fool to not go for him. The fact that I have $100,000.00 riding on the match and him winning has nothing to do with that.
Michael Saint: Hello and welcome to the best part of the show! Today I have the pleasure of interviewing Ace King! Ace welcome to the show!
Ace King: Thank you for having me. Good to see you, by the way.
Saint: So what is it like to be EWC Champion? I never held that title in my day.
Ace King: Honestly? It’s everything people say it is, and more. As short as it was, my first run as Champion actually did a good job of preparing me for this second run, because it forced me to consider, and prepare for, the ups and downs that come with it, so I’ve definitely found a more consistent emotional place as opposed to going to the extremes I did when I was just starting here, and I think the results have ultimately spoken for themselves, you know?
Saint: I always saw something in you Ace knew you had the ability to be a huge star here in EWC. You have came a very long way since taking on Luke Wolfe and Griffin Hawkins for the US title sir. Hell both of those guys are now retired and in the Hall of Fame! Looking back on when you started in EWC did you think this was even possible?
Ace King: Not a chance. Looking back, I had absolutely no idea what to expect when I first signed, because I hadn’t really expanded my wrestling bubble that much, so to do what I’ve had the good fortune to do here is mind-boggling. Those two names you mentioned, they’ve both become good friends of mine over the years, but they were the ones I was most directly chasing when I came to Rampage, so for you to go to bat for me, the new guy, the way you did to put me in the company of those two ahead of that WrestleFest… Jesus, this is my sixth one now… I never forgot that, and it was the first sign that I might be able to do something here, so I’ll always be grateful for that.
Saint: Give you a name give me your thoughts. First Killjoy Ito
Ace King: Assassin. The guy hits so hard, but it feels like there’s a purpose to everything he does instead of just wildly throwing shots. I see a lot of myself in him, and he’s more than capable of standing on his own.
Saint: Melody Malone
Ace King: Fearless and relentless. She doesn’t leave any stone unturned, and she’s always looking for things to exploit in opponents that they themselves may not have considered, myself included. Forget any reference to her being the next generation of Friday Night Rampage and EWC, she’s here and now.
Ace King: A throwback… And I don’t mean throwing him back into Lake Erie. All three names you’ve mentioned are so young, but they’re proof that there’s no one blueprint that automatically guarantees success, and Moxie’s another example of that with his smashmouth style.
Saint: Xavier Reid
Ace King: Tough as nails. You go through the history books, and there’s a reason our paths keep crossing: He’s strong-willed, not afraid to go to the deepest parts of his mind to push forward, and just an all-around fighter.
Saint: Jordan Sharpe
Ace King: Oh boy… Bound and determined to succeed, an example to others of what can happen when you put in the work.
Saint: El Pablo
Ace King: That’s my Day One right there. He’s honestly a big part of why this year’s been so great for me, not only with the Tag Team Championships, but just that outlet to keep myself balanced instead of going to each end of the emotional spectrum, like I mentioned earlier.
Saint: Michael Saint
Ace King: Tough, but fair. I remember you had your associations at the time, but as a businessman, you were almost always fair, so full credit to you.
Saint: One last question Ace and I will let you go. If you could face anyone former EWC Star from the past who would it be and why is it me?
Ace King: Man, that would have been interesting, wouldn’t it? There are a few names I just missed on time-wise, yourself included: Xplode, God rest him, and I’ve obviously known Ruthann for years, but we’ve never faced off… Shadow Man is another. El Chupacabra, Moses Lake, JayCee, any of them. Level-One was also on that list, but then I got to face him a couple years ago, and that was an experience… Oh, speaking of him, APW head Hurricane Jeff would be on the list, too, and obviously Pence is back here now, so our paths may well cross before too long.
Saint: Ace thanks for your time it was great to have you here. Good luck at the pay per view.
Ace King: Good to see you.
HOT OR NOT!
Hot = Ace King – As EWC Champion ( and one hell of an interview ) I would be remiss to not put you here and at the top of list.
Hot = Me – I have no issue stroking my own ego and besides I am Sexy AF
Hot = Xavier Reid – Hey I like you just not the company you keep.
Hot = Melody Malone – You have been the top of EWC before and can easily do it again.
Hot = Rampage – My baby will always be here.
Not = Tommy Love – As someone who got those nude pictures that were going around of the guy a few months back I can say for 100% sure that this man is not at all hot.
Not = Hurricane Jeff – I have no idea if he will ever see this, but if so I will always put him here, because it is my job to do so.
Not = Shadow Man – He knows what he did!
Tip of the Hat
The tip of my hat this show has to go to President Mac himself. My oldest and dearest friend. You have ran this company well. Now when I say Mac is my oldest friend I am not saying I have known him longer than anyone I am saying he is the oldest person I know. Don’t worry when the nurse at the old folks home reads this I will make sure to note how she needs to read this really loud. Don’t be mad man I will always be everyone’s mothers favorite wrestler, but Mac you can always be everyone’s grandmothers favorite wrestler.
Wag of the finger.
The wag of my finger has to go to multiple people. Xavier Reid, Killjoy Ito, Samantha Hamilton, The Southern Express, Lorenzo, and Jason Hunter. You all have the ability to be so much more, but have decided to throw in with that asshole Tommy Love and that means y0u will not live up to whatever potential you have.
Well that is it for this show. I hope you were all entertained. Thank you and have a great time.
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